Why A Coach

It’s Sunday morning and I am presently still in my pj’s.  It is these quiet moments when I feel compelled to share a piece of me with the rest of the world.  I still sometimes grabble with how public this blog is and I am still completely humbled by anyone who even reads these manuscripts of possible thoughtful insight.  Social media does seem self serving and I am well aware of the personal gratification of  writing my own blogs and I have resigned to the fact that posting is simply a secondary joy in which I have the honor to participate.  So I best get on and share with you, as a friend is going to swing by any minute with a key to their house so I can feed their animals while they are away.  I am sure she would find it rather amusing to find me in my pjs, zit cream visibly on my face, hair tied on top of my head and my right hand clung to my coffee mug clearly showing my inability to cope without it. 

So with that beautiful image in mind I can tell you that I recently was at a garden party hosted by the FWE, (Forum for Women Entrepreneurs).  I met an older gentlemen and I would dare to say, hopefully without offending him, that he is a grandfather.  His eyes scrolled my name tag and he said, “Parent Coach! Now why on earth would anyone need a parent coach?!”  Well, that’s a fair question, why would anyone need a coach?  Of course given the chance to talk and plead my case for what I deem a necessary role I lit up at the opportunity to answer.  So lets look at the changes that have occurred since he was a young lad…  his mom most likely stayed home, children ran free in the front yards, television was barely on the scene, & if you were mischieveous in nature any mother on the street would redirect your behaviour.  The idea of “It takes a Village” existed.    Let’s skip forward…today there are many two parent working family homes, nanny’s, daycares, & sometimes grandparents all participate in raising children.  It still takes the village, however, the village may not be on the same page.  Children no longer play in the front yard and many children go from one scheduled activity to the next, leaving little free time to play.  Extended families have become much more geographically fragmented and the idea of another parent re-directing another child’s behaviour is marred by the fear of ruining a parental friendship.  (For the record… please feel free to correct my children anytime you see them doing something inappropriate – I’ll take all the help I can get!)  Lest we forget the rate at which technology is affecting the way in which we are raising our kids.  In many ways technology is allowing us to accomplish so much more that much faster.  Yet is that the goal, live faster & do more?  Have we stopped to think about the impact that these changes have had on raising the next generation?   Are we slowing down enough to enjoy the company of our own children?   Are we parenting confidently?  Have we made a plan?  Are we aware of the values in which we would like to impart on our children?  Are we raising children that can share in our values and yet create their own for themselves? 

I know that’s a lot of questions and it can feel overwhelming and exhausting, and yes who has time and is there an app for that?  (I’ll create one – if it would make it easier). 

When I stop and look at all the changes that have occurred in our society it is no wonder parents are struggling.  For many mothers our roles now encompass more than any one human being could possibly manage: Groceries, meal planning, laundry, cleaning, gardening, taxi driver, parental guidance, employee, wife, daughter to our own aging parents, supervisor of  media (tv, video games, computer, ipad, iphone, itouch), playdate organizer, holiday enthusiast, birthday party creator, managing any help we hire, and so on.  Meanwhile we are raising our children in isolation and rather than supporting each other we are busy criticizing one another.  There are thousands of parenting books lining the shelves of Chapters and it leaves us questioning our every move.  Organic or non organic food, fabric, health care, sleep trends, strollers, car seats, education, toilet training, activities, time outs or time ins… and the list goes on.  Articles appear on Facebook questioning whether woman can really have it all.  Its no wonder parents are unsure and it becomes easy to lose sight of what is important to us and our families.    

So what is my role in all of this?  I help parents create a plan that allows you to parent confidently based on what you value.  I ask effective questions that allow you to think about being a parent from all perspectives and realms.  I listen intently to help you link and weave your answers into clarity.  I will impart helpful pieces of child development that will give you a clear picture for where your children are at and where they are going.  You won’t need to read the books on the shelves as you will know exactly what is important to you, what boundaries you want to set, how you are going to curb behaviours and how your are going to build beautiful relationships.  So you may go back to that Chapters book shelf once in a while, however, you will be reading the books for inspiration instead of panicking while skimming the pages desperately for answers. 

So there you have it!  My answer to why in the world anyone would need a parent coach.  I wonder if that poor man was sorry he asked!?! I am positively sure he had no idea how passionate and compassionate I am to the plight of parents raising kids in our fast paced world.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Lao Tzu