Transitions

Alas a time to blog.  It feels like forever since I found a moment to sit and write peacefully about the trials and tribulations of being a mother!  So I find myself alone in my house for the first time in months!  All three boys are in ALL DAY school!  Woohoo!  I am sad to see summer coming to close, however, I am happy to have some semblance of a schedule and a regular break in my day to work, clean, cook, iron, organize, tidy, eat, think & breath.  September is all about transitions and I thought it might be a nice time to share my thoughts on the subject.  Whether you have a toddler that has a new set of activities, a child who has just begun preschool, a grade schooler, or a combination there of, I am sure September has come with the hopes of an easy transition.  Meanwhile the truth sets in and whether your child is 12 or 3 they are dealing with a myriad of emotions.  The carefree months of summer have turned into the responsibility months of a school year.  We are regimented to a clock, a routine, homework, activities, new teachers, and new friends… and if your kids have yet to revolt in anyway then you are royally blessed! 

Just for fun I will paint you a picture of what my first day of picking up my kids looked like:  The hallway is madness as the kids weave in out of layers of parents hugging each other and asking about how the summer days were spent.  My youngest didn’t attend kindergarten the first day as it was a gradual entry process.  He is tied to my leg and begging to be picked up, but it is hot and chaotic and I am fending him off as he whines at a decimal that can still be heard above the chaos of the crowd.  The twins are in separate classes for the first time in their educational career and I cannot wait to see them and hear all about their day – or so I thought?!?!  One twin is released from class and he comes running to me with a tale of woe that is almost impossible to comprehend… something about his twin and a cupcake and how the world is completely unfair.  The other twin finds me and he has tears in his eyes and he begins to piece together the tale in a frantic and quite honestly over dramatic way – if only he was on Broadway!  The moral of the woe was that one twin had a cupcake because it was someone’s birthday and the other twin did not.  However, the one who did not should not be upset because the one who did eat a cupcake hated it – it was COFFEE FLAVOR.  Continue to imagine that the youngest child of mine is still whining and whimpering because according to him I am his personal transporter and I should carry him upon request in any and all situations in which his royalty requests.  All I wanted to do was greet my beautiful children after the end of their first day of school.  Apparently my request was unheard!  So as we descended down the hill to our car I carried my youngest and I listened quietly as the twins discussed how they could possibly make this cupcake situation resolve.  The truth was that all of their fears, worries and anxiety about returning to this new situation were searching for ways to emotionally escape.  They needed to cry and be hugged and reminded that tomorrow will be easier regardless of whether someone eats a coffee flavored cupcake or not.  The greater truth is that they are learning one beautiful life skill… they are learning to ADAPT!  When our worlds change, morph, grow, expand, dwindle, or just down right look different we all need to adapt.  As parents we witness our children learning this skill in frightfully ugly ways.  Thank goodness we have unconditional love for our children as they work so hard to understand and cope with their worlds looking different. 

So here are some thoughts on things us parents can do to ride the wave of adaptability:  Think back to another time in your child’s life when he or she had to adapt.  What worked well to help your child through that stage?  How can you apply that now?  If you have never witnessed this before and it is your first time… think about what things you can keep the same in their world in order to balance off all the changes?  Maybe that is their favourite meal, outfit, or bedtime routine?  Tell them stories of when you were young and some of the changes you went through.   Think about how you leave the house to a scheduled activity and how you can make that a smoother process?  Creating peace around the change will help.  Our state of mind and mood is easily reflected in our children. 

What about you?  You too are riding the wave of emotionally instability and September is going to call on you to mop up the emotional turmoil your children are unleashing.  Maybe that means that you, the parent, need to have some recovery time?  Think about what nice thing you are going to do for yourself in order to survive this process?  I just might plan dinner with some great friends… or maybe a giant coffee flavored cupcake!!  Yes – that ought to do it!  I’ll be sure not to share it with the twins! 

Cheers to October being just around the corner!

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller