Not So Sweet Words
Those four not so sweet words…
The perfectly imperfect me had a first. A true first in the parenting world… One I just had to share with you. I could have easily put this ‘first’ into a quick short blurb on Facebook, however the truth is that I really owe this moment more than that. Partly because I handled it so imperfectly and partly because it is so very monumental!
I had all three boys at a hockey banquet. My husband was at a different function so I was on my own. It started at 6 and I was already wishing I was at home. However, the season ending hockey banquet meant the world to the twins and they were more than excited. The twins already live at a level excitement that many of us may never experience. So imagine adding having dinner with your teammates… which includes pop and cake with an exuberant amount of icing…need I say more. We sit through an hour and a half of speeches and awards and banquet food. It is now 7:30 and they announce to the kids that they have set up a play area full of inflatable experiences to last a lifetime. They all take off and now I have to face the fact that I may never get my kids home… and when I do I still have dirty dishes to wash, lunches to make and laundry to fold. I tell myself 8:30… yes at 8:30 we can leave. I will have them home and in bed by 9 and then one hour of housework and then I can put my feet up at 10. By 8:15 my fragile five year old is coming undone and any ability he had to cope with life is almost non existent. I understand… I somewhat feel the same. I do all the right things… I give them a gentle 10 minute warning. I throw them the 5 minute signal. And yes… it’s time to go… my plan is in action we are leaving. The red heads are getting their shoes on, the five year old is still upright and we are actually getting out of here alive. The twins turn back to get one final look at the multitude of inflation and they yell ‘mom, we didn’t get to try the best one because the line was too long, but now look, it’s a small line, we can go now.’ I breathe and I stick to the plan. Shoes on.  Walking out.  Going home… ‘no, boys, we are leaving.’ And here it comes… wait for it… those four not so sweet words… and for the first time in my parental career… with tears… and screaming… in front of everyone… who knows I am a parent coach… ‘but mom, ‘You’re Ruining My Life.’
My internal thoughts… I’m ruining your life… are you kidding me. I am your life. Without me you have no life. I will show you what ruining your life looks like… cause this ain’t it.
My crumbling parental moment… I insist we go home, he continues to cry and before we can get to the car I let them go back and try this one inflatable piece of equipment that will somehow change their lives forever. He just looked so crushed and this particular inflation looked pretty cool. I started to think what it might feel like to be 9 and have your mom ruin your life. I was tired and weak and I just didn’t feel like being the fun wrecker. I am always the fun wrecker!
Fixing the crumble… so we arrive home and its 9:30 and everyone is tired. The five year old who is barely mobile gets jammied and tucked in before he even knows what happened to him. The 9 year olds get themselves in their jammies and become my instant helpers. They both pitched in and helped put away some laundry, load the dishwasher and did an overall quick tidy… and they got a small lecture on how we need to work together as a team and that sometimes one member of our family may need to go to bed and the other members need to be understanding.
Moral… sometimes we play by our own rules. Sometimes we don’t follow through. Sometimes we make mistakes… and we always get an opportunity to grow and change and continue to be perfectly imperfect. Oh and if your kids tell you that you are ruining their life, you are most likely ruining it for all the right reasons. Truthfully, they will only truly understand when they have kids of their own and get to ruin their lives.
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