Just need a hug

Its a rainy Tuesday morning… so I thought what better a time than now to write a few words on the dreaded meltdown.  There are a few different kinds of meltdowns.  There are the good ole fashioned roll on the floor, typically seen by a toddler, meltdown.  These ones carry with them the potential for extreme embarrassment when they happen outside of the home.  They are supported by an underlying frustration of being a toddler and not being  able to communicate their needs as well as not always getting what they want.   Then you have the scream in your ear, stomp your feet, slam the door, break down in tears, punching the wall kind of meltdown.  This is only to list a few, as every child is different and they all pack their own punch when they lose it.  This kind of melt down happens to kids who have past the toddler stage and continues throughout adulthood.  The only difference is that an adult has better coping tools when they lose it and a child or teenager is still learning the appropriate way to express themselves when angry, mad, frustrated and so forth.  Whether you are 2 or 92 you are simply experiencing an emotion that feels overwhelming and you are looking for a way to release it.  While in this state you are most likely experiencing a rush of adrenaline that sends blood to all the vital organs for evolutionary survival.   Your ability to reason becomes unnecessary and therefore until you are able to calm down you are unable to think clearly.

So for all the parents who were hoping to reason with their child while they are experiencing and expressing a high level of emotion I will invite you to step back and devise a plan that best supports you and your child.  Every child is different so you might have to play around with what works best.  In our house we stay nearby, or we tell them we  are free to talk in 10 minutes once they have had some time to breathe.  In the meantime grab a glass of wine, or a cup of tea, or a magazine and weather the storm.  Most of us just want a hug when its all over… emotions are exhausting.

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I’ve ended up where I needed to be.

Douglas Adams