Confidence

Happy Wednesday Everyone!  My boys are officially out for summer holidays.  I find myself somewhat relieved from the every day schedule, yet I am having to adjust to the noise, mess and overall chaos of having three little men in the house.  I am still finding time to continue Parent Coaching a few of the sweetest moms.  These moms always keep me present and have me asking myself the same difficult questions I am asking them.  I often ask my clients who they were before they had children.   When they recount what they did and how they handled themselves they were all very confident.  As the conversation swings back to motherhood their tone of voice shifts and they find themselves questioning everything that has to do with raising children.  It’s as though while birthing babies we seem to simultaneously birth out our ability to be or feel self assured.  I know and understand that having a baby is like nothing you have ever done before.  I clearly remember the day we brought our twins home from the hospital.  As they lay before me on the carpet I realized I had no idea what to do them.  I remember their first bath.  I filled the baby bath with hesitation and I had to recite a ‘just do it” mantra over and over in my head.  Yet I have to question where all of this hesitation came from and why parents today are so unsure?   We use google for every minor detail, and we become obsessed with parental research and finding the answer to everything.  We compare notes with our friends, which at times can be hurtful as we find out that we may not always share the same values.  Uncertainty can be ok at times. In life we cannot always know the answer.  In parenthood there is no right answer.  What there we have is love and relationships.  As long as we continue to build those relationships we will all be fine.  Steady the course, stay connected and spend the time.  Our parents didn’t have google?  Our parents had intuition.  So as the summer weather provides us with longer nights and hopefully a little time off from our every day routines, I invite you to relax into parenting and contemplate that you already know everything you need to know to parent.

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I’ve ended up where I needed to be.

Douglas Adams